The other day I was watching a clip of a song and dance on YouTube, which I liked a lot.  That very moment, a friend of mine came online and started chatting with me.  As I was enjoying the dance, I asked him to also watch it as I felt the girl was very talented. He watched the clip for few seconds and immediately reacted that the girl was pathetic, that she doesn’t sing well and that she didn’t know how to dance. May be he was in a bad mood. I had never heard him speaking ill about any person, situation or anything.

Of course, everyone has different perceptions. My perception is that the girl was beautiful, she sang well, she danced well and that she was talented.

When I tried to convince him he said that I was being judgmental.  I think “being judgmental” is normally used when the situation or comment made connotes taking a prejudiced or preconceived position.

Am I really judgmental?  I thought a lot about it and it gave me a subject to ponder over – Being Judgmental.

When he told me that I was being judgmental, was he not being judgmental about me or was he not passing judgment about the girl’s capabilities?

In daily life, we are sometimes told not to be judgmental. However, I would like to ask whether there is anyone who is not judgmental.  For example, if we talk on the phone to a person for the first time, he or she may be very sweet to talk to. It is natural to form a positive opinion about the person. Is this not a judgment?

Is there any gauge that measures a person’s genuineness?  I don’t think so.  We normally make judgements and create impressions and opinions for ourselves. We all know and don’t dispute that Mother Teresa was compassionate. This is a judgement, a universal judgment. This judgement came about from a solid basis, an accepted fact. Just as there is a reason for everything, there is a reason for forming impressions and making judgements. These impressions and judgments may be wrong, but judgements have a basis. The basis for judgments can relate to the situation, the circumstances and behaviour, among other factors.

To reach the stage, where I can stop judging everyone and stop being judgmental would be the day when I can say, “I am enlightened”, but then again won’t you think that “I am being judgmental”?

I would love to have your comments on this post.

With Kindest Regards,

The other day my younger daughter came back from school and as usual she was giving me the details on how was her day in the school.

In the spare time, she was practicing ping-pong with a friend.  Another girl of her standard who was watching the game told her that I would really commend your game, if you can defeat the opponent.
On this she replied, I would also appreciate my game, if I can concentrate on my game better and can win.

I was amazed at her thinking, such a small girl and how elaborate her thinking is.  When I asked her to describe the difference between the two she said that I would rather concentrate more on my game skills to win the game than how to defeat the opponent.

Watch your thoughts,
for they become words.
Watch your words,
for they become actions.
Watch your actions,
for they become habits.
Watch your habits,
for they become character.
Watch your character,
for it becomes your destiny.

The process of thinking by man is complex. When one thinks, a sophisticated network that is far superior to any computerized logic unfolds, and one’s thoughts race from one situation to the other. It is because of this that “distraction” of thought creeps in. We get carried away by thoughts unconnected with the main issue and this may lead to unfavorable situations. I am not even remotely suggesting that our thought process characterized by a chain is unhealthy. On the other hand, unless this chain works effectively we will not be able to consider various possibilities and situations in a short time and come to a stage of finality.

“What we think, we become.”

Having said this, it is necessary to channel our thoughts properly if we are to act and behave in a manner that is acceptable to others and to ourselves. Let me give you an example. If we are assigned to do a task, we should guide our thinking process towards the following:

- Developing a concept to ensure that what is required is achieved

- Consideration of various alternatives

- Execution of the task efficiently and effectively

This example is mentioned only to highlight the fact that we should be on guard always and think in the right direction if we are to give meaning to our lives. Let us consider the scenario that we don’t think coherently and constructively. Thi

1. We could be living in utopia and thinking of various impossible, and think that desired situations that we would like to be in do not work the way we think.
   
2. We could also adopt a positive attitude and think of the ways we can have success by making an attempt.
3. Talking of fantasizing and being creative, some people are very good at “dreaming” of situations. Poets, for example, in the right environment are able to think of situations that they convert to sweet rhyme. A painter or writer is able to practice his art because he lets his mind flow. If not born with this gift, we can try to cultivate it.

Every human mind is a treasure of thought, each one different from the other. Use your thoughts well and shun thoughts that harm others or yourself.

“Those who know how to think need no teachers.”

Kavita

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